by Jonas Polsky
Wrote these today out of sheer boredom.
"So, Seth, uh. ya hear about this? I heard the Dandy Warhols created Pop Tarts."
"Seth, did ya hear about the Pope? He re-signed with the Cardinals, so they sent him to Attica."
"Didja hear this story Seth? Eli Manning was arrested for takin’ a leak on Wikipedia."
"You know what else I heard? The media landed on Usher!"
"Anthony, I think you mean a meteor landed on Russia!"
"Ehhhh, that’s not what they’re sayin’ down at the cab stand."
"Know what else? They found a Porsche in the meatballs at Nokia."
"Hey Seth, did you hear John Mayer threatened Obama with castration?"
"Anthony, John Boehner talked to Obama about sequestration!”
"Dat ain’t what I heard!"